No longer (hu)men
by Mydory
Summary: Dazai and Chuuya are sent on a mission together and of course, nothing happens like it should and they both end up ... turned into women ! If it can sound funny at first it will quickly become a nightmare for the Mafioso, but he can hopefully count on his stupid and bandaged partner. (rating M for Chuuya's language) OS Fem!Dazai and Fem!Chuuya Soukoku and sublte Shin Soukoku


So here is my first one-shot, in English because I can. I might translate it when I have the time. It's humor but serious matters are discuss in the fanfiction so please pay attention. Hope you'll like it.

NO LONGER (HU-)MEN

It didn't even start well to begin with. When Chuuya was told by Mori that he was suppose to meet Dazai for a duo mission, he knew it couldn't be a good start.

The Agency and the Mafia seemed to have find an agreement and signed a peace contract, deciding that they could work together from now on. Saying that neither the detectives nor the mafiasos were sparkling with joy from the news would be an understatment. They were glowing with hate and desire to kill.

Fukuzawa and Mori apparently thought it could be a good idea to start this new peace between the two organisations by sending the old partners on a mission, only three days after the declaration.

It was suppose to be rather simple, Chuuya even found it insulting at first, that Mori asked HIM of all people, one of the five Executives, to go stop a minor ability user that was causing problems in the streets of Yokohama, leaving the persons he touched with a physical difference. The little mafioso didn't even know of what nature the modifications were, beacause Mori didn't find it useful to tell him.

He cringed his teeth when he saw a familiar trench coat and brown hair, moving in the wind, waiting for him behind the building where the ability user lived.

"My petite mafia!" greated the other with a big smile and a singing voice.

"Don't fucking call me that shitty Dazai!"

"Mean! You know your level of anger is way too high for someone your size. You're going to explode one day …"

"The only thing exploding is your bandaged ass if you don't shut it!"

"My my, don't be so noisy, you're going to caught attention."

Dazai tilted his head in direction of the building, swinging on his feet, hands in the pocket of his coat. Chuuya 'tched' and pass by him without responding. He stopped just before entering the principal street. It was a little neighbourhood, with blocks of three levels as buildings and lots of streets here and there.

"He doesn't seem to be home, what do you want to do?" asked Chuuya.

He got no answer.

"Oi mackerel I ask- Dazai?!"

Chuuya met the empty when he turned around, only to hear a whistle and turn back to the building, to see his former/new partner already climbing on the front face of it, helping himself with the balconies.

"Oh you must be shitting me!"

The Executive used gravity to join Dazai before taking him by the collar and throwing him in the appartment of the man they were looking for. The tallest hit the floor hard, and the noise satisfied Chuuya.

"Ow that's not a way to treat a new partner hat rack!"

"Shut it you're nothing new for me, just like I'm nothing new for you too so cut the crap!"

"Chibi souldn't be so loud, he's going to burn our cover," sulked Dazai.

"What cover ? We litteraly broke into this guy's appartement instead of being discret, and all because of your suicuidal ass ! You hoped you were going to fall in the process didn't you?"

Dazai blinked a few times before smiling :

"You know me so well."

"Asshole."

Ten minutes later none of them discovered anything in the appartement, not even a hint of what the abbilty of the boy could be.

"That was so useless I could actually feel sorry for us," started Chuuya.

"Shush!"

"What ? Don't you shush me you-"

"Chuuya !"

Dazai was looking at something behind him with wid eyes and Chuuya only got the time to turn around before activating The Tainted Sorrow to break a bat meant to hit him in the head.

In front of Chuuya was now a terrified and shaking boy, barely 15 if his calculations was correct.

"A kid ? You're the one causing trouble ?"

"Yes, it's him," answered Dazai now serious.

The kid looked at both of them in obvious fear, and stepped back.

"W-who are you ?"

"That's a question we should ask," replied Chuuya. "Not everyone has Port Mafia and the Agency after them for nothing."

The kid narrowed his eyes dangerously before running away.

"Shit, Dazai take the stairs !"

"Chuuya wait !"

But the older man had already jumped from the balcony and Dazai swored before chasing the kid.

Chuuya lended heavily on the ground just in front of the door, creating a little crater around him. The kid ran out of the appartment but Dazai was right behin him and Chuuya smiled when he saw his partner caughting the kid by the shirt. But his smile fainted as soon as a green light flashed from the kid and Dazai was thrown in the dumpsters like if he weighted nothing.

"Oi you little shit !"

Chuuya tried to punch the kid but the other managed to avoid his shots more or less well, and the red hair noticed too late that he let an opening when he felt a hand on his chest and a force throwing him away just like it did with Dazai before, knocking him out enough for the kid to escape.

Chuuya grunted as his head was spinning around, and fought with himself to get into a sitting position. The coat that rested on his shoulders was a few meters away, same for his hat. He then remebered that he wasn't alone and turn to see the dumpsters all overturned, just seeing a bandaged hand and few black hair from afar.

"Oi Dazai !"

He stopped immediately, eyes widdened in shock as he heard his own voice. It wasn't low an sharp as it was suppose to be, but more acute and keen. He tested his voice once more to be sure:

"Dazai ?"

And let out a surprise sound as his voice was definitly the one of a girl.

"Chuuya ?"

His head snapped to look at the one who called him, and his eyes widdened even more when he saw that the female voice came from his partner, who got himself out of the trashes. Well, who just got _herself_ out of the trashes. Because in front of him, it was Dazai, the general appearance was the same, but the normal sized breast, the thin waist and larger hips, as well as the black hair now shoulder long, thiner face and darker eyelashes, didn't belong to the Dazai he knew. He had a fucking girl in front of him, instead of the annoying man his partner was supposed to be.

Something tilted in his head and he was suddenly scared to look at himself. Because giving the look Dazai had on him, he must have switched to a _her_ as well.

And indeed, when he looked dow, he saw a small breast and forms where he wasn't suppose to have. His hair was also longer, falling down on his chest and not just his shoulder, and his trouser and shirt were a little stiffling around his breast. And God kill him if he wasn't missing somethin rather important between his legs.

He heard a 'pop' and looked in diesbelief that the first button of Dazai's shirt just gave up on trying to contain his breast.

"Well, that was not so surprising," he just said with his new cotton voice, hands crossed on his chest.

"Ah?! Not so suprising ? You knew about his ability ?!"

"Of course, didn't you too?"

"No I didn't ! Mori refused to tell me !"

Dazai looker at him (her ?) a few seconds before bursting out in laugh. Chuuya of course, didn't appreciat and got in front of the brown haired (wo)man in few second, gabbing them by the collar to get them down on his level.

"What are you laughing at you bandaged waste ?! I don't know if you noticed, but the mission is nothing but a big fail and we are girls!"

Dazai's laugh calmed down and they just looked at Chuuya with a big amsued smile that made the ginger even more pissed:

"Yes, I noticed, and it just proved something."

"Oh really ? And what would that be?"

"That even as a woman, I'm better looking than you."

Chuuya stared at them with a blank face, before he clenched his jaw and punched them.

"That's not the fucking point you useless mackerel ! We can't stay like this !"

And so he went to grab his hat and his coat, to fix his outfit.

"But it's funny ! You never wondered what you would look like as a woman ?"

"Not really no, come on let's go."

"Chuuya is no fun !"

"If you want to stay like this it's your problem, I'm going back to the Agency to get help, because let's just face it, Mori is not going to be of any help here."

"Don't go so fast Chu-chu i'm coming !"

"Hurry your ass up I'm not waiting."

Really they looked just like they always were. Chuuya walking fast and angrily in the front as an attempt to loose Dazai in the streets, and the tallest juste behind him, a stupid and satisfied smile on his lips, walking as a normal pace but almos as fast as the smallest because of his long legs.

But this time, they were women, with forms and nice faces, and they got notice. They got notice as men as well, but weirdly, people were more discreet when that was the case. It was nothing big, just head turning around, looking at them from head to toe, giving appreciative looks. Chuuya was just getting more and more annoyed by those, while Dazai, on the other hand found it quite satisfiying, considering he received more looks that Chuuya.

_He makes a competition out of everything I swear_, he thought and internally sigh.

Lost in his thoughts he bumped in a tall figure rather violently and excused himself juste after.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

He was going to go pass the man but he stopped him and give him a charming smile. Or so he thought.

"No problems sweetheart, what about going to take a drink with me to apologize sincerely ?"

Chuuya was already tired before the mission, but now he was juste exhausted. He internally felt compasion for every girls and women on earth that had to deal with those pigs and rolled his eyes.

"No, I already apologise. Now let me go."

"Oh I get it you want to play cold ? Alright I like it, what about me wharming you up huh ? How does that sound ?"

Some people stopped in the street after hearing that and Dazai knew better than just jump on the guy to kill him, seeing how red Chuuya was glowing.

"You want to warm me up hu ? _I_'m gonna warm you up you pig !"

Dazai was pretty sure he heard the nose broke when Chuuya hit him with gravity, and the big guy went flying deep into the wall. His friend just looked horrified and suddenly angry :

"You slut !" he shouted.

He didn't have the time to do anything that Dazai stepped in and kicked him hard between the legs before letting Chuuya kick him to the other side of the road with a side kick in the ribbs.

"Fucking jerk, who is he calling a slut," grunted the little one, putting back his hat in place.

"When you actually are a _slug_, I really wonder how he couldn't see the difference," sang Dazai.

"Shut it or you're next."

He was answered by a sweet laugh, one that sent a weird feeling in his guts, and Chuuya wondered is Dazai's laugh sounded like this when he was a boy too or if it just changed with his body.

"You OK down there ?"

"Huh ?"

"Well," smirked Dazai, "what caught your mind like this."

Chuuya felt his cheeks warm up and decided to bow his chin so his face would be hidden by his hat et turned her heels:

"Nothing, let's go."

Dazai hummed, not believing a word.

"Atsushi-kun ?"

The boy raised his head to a hesitant and uncomfortable Naomi.

"Naomi-chan ? Is everything alright ?"

"Yes yes ! But uh, there's someone here to see you."

Atsushi was stunned a few seconds before getting up so quickly his chair fell. He went to the door only to freeze as he saw a white skined young man in a long black coat with black hair and white tips, and a pair of steel eyes met his.

"Jinko," the nickname surprisingly didn't sound offensive this time.

Akutagawa entered the office and closed the door behing him, before putting his hands back in his pocket.

"A-akutagawa ? What are you doing here ?"

The older boy turned his head to not face Atsushi and it seemed to the silver hair boy that the other was actually embarrassed. But it couldn't be it, Akutagawa never showed anything else but hate and wrath. So Atsushi was kind of shocked when the owner of Rashomon sticked himself in front of him and looked at him straight (lol) in the eyes.

"Now that Fukuzawa-sama and Mori-sama made peace, I can't kill you. And Dazai-san recognises my strenght."

"Yes ?" the poor weretiger didn't know what to say or where this was going.

"But you're powerful too, I tested it and I've seen it, deniying it would just be bad faith."

"Thanks, I guess ?"

Akutagawa observed Atsushi and let out a noisy sigh. The weretiger decided that it was now or never so he breathed in and said :

"I don't want to fight you anymore ! Even if it's juste 'training' because you can't actually kill me, I'm done fighting you, I don't have anything to prove to you ! And you just say that you want to kill me so bad, but I saw you killing someone, if you really wanted to kill me I would've been the one in a near coma state, not you. So, let's just drope it. No more rivalry, no more stupid hatred because of Dazai-san, please, Akutagawa."

Shock and surprised wasn't actually readable on the black hair boy's face, but the way his eyes opened themsleves showed that he wasn't cold at the words. He hid his reaction behind a cough, and when he oppened his eyes it was to meet the desappointed face and eyes looking at his feet Atsushi, and somehow, his heart reacted and missed a beat at the unpleasant feeling of failing the boy in front of him.

Akutagawa cursed himself for this reaction and what he was about to do. He sighed, and then put his fingers under Atsushi's chin to rais his head up to his eye-level. It was the weretiger's turn to look at him with shock and surprise on his face when he felt the cold fingers on his warm skin, but he found the contact rather pleasant.

"You're weak Atsushi. But I agree with you and accept peace with you too."

The boy's breath hitched as the mention on his name : Akutagawa never called him by his name before, and he didn't thought hearing it on the older man's tongue would sound so nice. Not thinking and cheeks a little pink, he grabbed the hand of Akutagawa and got closer.

"What did you say ?"

"That I was going to make peace with y-"

"No no, before that !"

Akutagawa frowned in confusion before his face lightened up and he smirked :

"Atsushi ?"

The silver hair boy squeaked in surprise, his cheeks now a deep pink. Akutagwa flushed a little at the reaction too and it got worse when Atsushi said :

"Hearing you calling my name is nice for once," it was almost a whisper, but the other caught it well.

"Do you want me to keep calling you that ?"

He was making fun of the weretiger but his almost choked on his own saliva when Atsushi just gave him a warm smile and a tender look and answered in the most innocent way :

"I actually got use to Jinko, you're the only one calling me that so I think it's nice, now that it's not in a war context, Akutagawa."

The called one spoke before thinking but didn't regret it the slightest :

"Ryunnosuke."

"Huh ?"

"T-that's my name. So call me that."

"Ryunnosuke," Atsushi tested the name on his lips then frowned.

"What ?" asked Akutagawa, trying to hide the worry in his voice.

"It's too long ! I'll go for Ryu !"

_Dear lord, he's really gonna be the end of me_, thought the now called Ryu, coughing to hide his embarassement.

"Well well, if I thought this day will come ! Our two subordinates calling each other nicknames and becoming friends ! How cute ! Just like us do you remember Chuuya ?"

The two boys stepped away from the other in less than a second when a feminin still familiar sounding voice came from the door. It was quickly followed by another familiar but higher voice.

"I remember you turning my whole gang against me to force me into the Mafia, thank you very much for that by the way, and you trying to make me your dog, shitty Dazai."

Atsushi was ready to faint when he saw Soukoku entering the room, but not really them. It sounded like them, looked like them, but it wasn't them. Even Akutagawa blinked a few times.

"I didn't try I succeded ! You are my loyal dog Chibi !"

"I'm gonna fuckin kill you and put you into the ocean we'll see who's the dog !"

"Dazai-san ?!"

"Nakahara-san ?!"

Both (wo)men turned to their subordinates looking at them like if they were living a nightmare, and well, it really was to them.

Chuuya sighed and took the boys by the hand before joining the principal room of the office with the other members of the Agency.

They all looked at him in surprise and lack of understanding, that just increased with the arrival of Dazai and when Ranpo greeted Chuuya :

"Hello mister fancy hat ! Or miss fancy hat now !"

Chuuya decided to make a short version of what happened.

"Mission this morning failed, the kid can genderbend the persone he touchs with his abilty, that's why chaos entered the streets, and yes both Dazai and I were touched, but that's pretty obvious."

Atsushi wanted to laugh. He really wanted too. But instead his brain just stopped working just like Akutagawa's next to his.

"Do you have any idea of where he went ?"

"None."

"Yes.

Chuuya and Dazai spoke at the same time and the ginger turned his head to the tallest.

"How ?"

"Well when I touched him, before he used his ability, I put a tracer in his shirt."

Chuuya was fuming.

"Do you mean that you let us both get transformed on purpose ?!"

"Me ? Yes. You ? No."

"I'm going to choke you !"

"Please do !"

"W-wait, so we know where this kid is ?" asked Atsushi so a fight wouldn't start in the middle of the Agency.

Dazai went to his computer and tapped a few things before turning the screen for everyone to see.

"Apparently he met with his gang, near the port, were the grande roue stands."

"Then what are we waiting for ! Let's go !" said Chuuya.

"No wait, Dazai just said that he was with his gang, we don't know how many of them they are, if they all have an ability, and we don't even know if you still have yours in this form !" scolded Kunikda.

Chuuya just stared at him while Dazai answered :

"They are 15 of them, the one that turned us is the only one with an ability as the heat sensors of the buildings they're hiding in suggests, and yes we have our ability."

"Alright let's go now. Akutagawa, Atsushi, come on."

And with that Chuuya left the room, long red hair and coat following all of his movements and was soon followed by a Dazai who made the same charismatic departure. The detectives just stayed frozen before Yosano spoke :

"They were already handsome and mind blowing before, so is it me or are they even more alluring as women ?"

The Tanizaki siblings only nod in approvale while Ranpo and Kyouka ignored her, Kunikida facepalmed and Atsushi looked at her on total desbelief.

"Jinko, hurry."

Akutagawa was already at the door and Atsushi ran at his level before they both started to run to catch up their mentors.

Kunikda suddenly seemed to remember something :

"Wait a minute, didn't Dazai said that they had their ability even as women ?!"

"Well yes, why ?" asked Yosano.

She exchanged a look full of meaning with Kunikida and a light turned on in her brain as she gasped :

"Wait a minute !"

Back with Atsushi and Akutagawa, the boys were running in the streets, trying to avoid as many people as possible and not rush into them.

"These two I swear, how could Mori-san even deal with them ! 22 and they are acting like if they were 15 !"

"That's the point Jinko, together they always act like when they were 15."

Atsushi grunted as he and Akutagawa ran in the streets.

"They were walking and we are running, how happens we can't catch up to them ?!"

"D-don't know," answered Akutagawa between two coughs.

Atsushi abrutly stopped. He forgot that the mafiaso's body was weaker than him despiet being bigger in size and age, and that being a weretiger increased his physical abilties.

"What are you doing ?" snapped Akutagawa.

"Jump," he said as he partially turned into the tiger.

Akutagawa's eyes widdened.

"What ? No. Don't be ridiculous."

"Come on, we'll go faster like this and you've done it before ! You're the one being ridiculous here !"

Akutagawa swore in his breath and took place on Atsushi's back.

"Drop me and I'll kill you."

"Yes sir !"

And they were indeed, much faster that if they'd have stayed on feet. They saw the crows running toward them and a red explosion showed them where exacly the two mentors were. Atsushi let Akutagawa get down before they both used their ability to join Dazai, who was sitting on the roof of a little cabane, legs dangled at the edge.

"Dazai-san !"

"Where's Chuuya-san ?" asked Atsushi.

He was answered not by Dazai but by another explosion, and he saw in desbelief a man flying straight into the river.

"I think he's pissed," informed the brown hair woman.

It was weird for them to now refer as Chuuya and Dazai as _she_ and _her_, but they still turned their head toward her and said in sync :

"You _think_ ?"

Dazai only laughed at that before expalining :

"Well the abilty user we're looking for was already gone by the time we arrived, so I just leave him spends his nerves on the rest of the gang that helped him out y'know."

"Just so he won't hit you instead," said Akutagawa blankly.

"Absolutly !" laughed the other.

"Daazaaaai !" roared Chuuya.

"Oh dear there he comes," sang the called one.

"Get your bandaged ass up, take the kids and come, I was able to find out where they sent their little friend," said the fire hair woman with a dangerous smirk.

Atsushi gulped and Akutagawa rolled his eyes, use to the behavior of the Mafia Executive.

"Alright, come on kids !"

The two felt embarassed as they looked like a little family with two moms. An exchanged look assured them they were thinking the same thing and they silently promessed to never speak the thought out loud, as Chuuya would probably kill them both for pairing him with Dazai.

Akutagawa seemed lost in thoughts as they walked near the river, heading to another abandonned building. They decided to not rush this time, to make sure no one would see them – or hear them as it have been the instence – and catch the damn boy so he would turned them back.

Atsushi watched as Chuuya and Dazai were fighting, more friendly than seriously, and then turned his sight to Akutagawa, the boy still looking in the clouds. As they walked the weretiger didn't pay attention at the path and tripped over a big rock. He would have propbably broken his nose if not for the black but hard cloth that caught him by the torso and the waist, keeping him in the air a few seconds.

"Careful Jinko."

Rashomon was the reason he didn't hurt himself. Akutagawa made sure he didn't hurt himself. Damn. Atsushi's heart was racing and he was blushing of embarrasment and shame as he muttered thanks to the black hair man.

"Oi, what are you two doing hurry !"

"Let them be Chuuya, they are bonding, it's important !"

"D-dazai-san !"

"It's not like that."

"Sure," sang Dazai.

"You leave them be, you're making them embarrassed and Akutagawa doesn't know what that means, you're going to break him !"

And they kept going like that while the two other behind them try to not look as they were discribed.

Dazai was hot. Chuuya was hot as well. Both wondered how they didn't notice that on their partners before. From where he was standing, Dazai had a full look on top of Chuuya, seeing his collarbones, going passed the collar of his shirt, and how his chocker was looking terrific on him. He was pretty sure Chuuya's face didn't change that much as from a boy, and he noticed his sharp but thin jaw and his long and roundy nose.

He gulped hardly, ignorant that his little partner was in the same state.

Chuuya cursed himself seven years back in the past to have accepted to join Port Mafia, because growing up at Dazai's side was just torture. The man couldn't help himself but be awesome. When they were 15, Dazai could've been the type of guy every girl wanted to date. When they were 18, he was definitly the type of guy that every girl and guy wanted to date and fuck. And now, at 22, Chuuya bitted hard on his lips as he was just seeing that this asshole was as attractive as a woman than as a man. And this constation made him want to scream in frustration because fuck, now that Dazai became a passable human being, Chuuya had no reasons to not want him.

"Hey Chibi ?"

"Huh ?"

"You're missing oxygen down there to have a brain so slow ?"

"Fuck me Dazai."

"Gladly, but will you let me ?"

Chuuya chocked on his own saliva, ignoring the shocked noise made by Atsushi has he started to walk faster to cover his red cheeks. And the fact that he was pissed at himself for reacting to this.

"Chibiko wait for me !"

"Fall on the road and die !"

"Mean."

"Never said I was nice."

"Did what I said disturbed you ?"

"You wish mackerel."

"Mm yes I do, but I think you don't realize that yet."

It was said so low it was almost a whisper, and Chuuya was sure he wasn't suppose to even catch it, but he did anyway. And his heart stopped beating as his breath had a hooker, blood spreading fast on his face, neck and ears. Cursed his red hair's skin.

"Dazai-san, maybe we should stop."

The woman turned to him surpised :

"What it is Atsushi-kun ?"

"I think we arrived."

"That or we just fell by luck on an armed gang, because they're aiming at us," added Akutagawa, hands in his pockets.

Effectively, just in front of them was the building they were looking for, something like 50 men and women here and there, big weapons aimed at them, from everywhere.

"He was suppose to be in a 15 men gang where the hell are those coming from ?" noticed Dazai.

"You must be kidding my ass ! I swear once this is done, I'm fucking killing the kid, you, and Mori, and in that godamn order !" yelled Chuuya.

Just when he finished the shooting started and Atsushi's first reflexe was to try and protect himself as well as Akutagawa who deployed inconsciously Rashomon around them, while Dazai just sighted and kept his hands in his pocket as all the bullets stopped abruptly just in front of Chuuya and around the group of four.

A red wave appeared and all the bullets went back to their senders, killing half of them in the process under the laugh of the red hair.

"Can we try and not do that please ?" asked Atsushi.

"What ?"

"Killing people !"

"Not promessing anything," shrugged Chuuya. "Mafia here."

"I've promised you not to kill anyone during six months and it's already been five months, two weeks and six days ... so I won't."

"You hold to it ?" Atsushi was rather surprised and shocked.

"Of course," coughed the other before getting up and following the oldest.

A warm feeling spread into Atsushi's heart when Akutagawa told him that he just didn't accepted his request and broke it at the first occasion. The man didn't kill anyone during almost six months and if he didn't knew better, he could think Akutagawa was trying to be better. But he knew better, and that plus Ryunnosuke's peace pact meant a lot to the weretiger ; it showed that the mafiaso actually had respect for him and his values despite what he wanted to show.

He thoughts were cut by the biggest explosion he ever heard, and he looked completley stunned at what was suppose to be the old hangar : a red light was forming a dome and everything in it was just flotting in the air, waiting to be ordered what to do by Chuuya's ability. Atsushi panicked a little when he saw that even people were flying so he ran to where Chuuya, Dazai and Akutagawa were standing.

The weretiger could understand the urge the smallest had to turn back to his original body, but he didn't understand why he made such a mess for it. He litteraly made explode a whole buidling.

"As you can see my partner doesn't know what patience means, so I suggest you tell us where the little player is. We don't want to kill him, we just want to get our bodies back," spoke Dazai in a serious tone.

"He just left", stuttered one.

"Where ?" snapped Chuuya.

"You scared the hell out of him so he said he was going to the Agency I think ? Apparently you said that you work ther-ah !"

Chuuya just dropped everything and made a call. Hopefully, the humain beings were flying much closer to the ground than the objects and remains of the hanger were, so when they fell it wasn't by bursting on the floor.

"Atsushi-kun, what about you and Akutagawa head to the Agency, Chuuya and I will join you when he'll get his motorcycle."

Dazai waved at them like if they were germs or cats he was trying to get away from him. Atsushi wasn't really confident about this, but he understood that Dazai needed time with Chuuya.

Just when they left Dazai went directly to Chuuya, standing in front of him and took the phone out of his hand.

"Oi give that back you little shit."

But Dazai wasn't going to reply by smiling or singing. His face was serious and concerned, and Chuuya didn't know how to react when he saw those on his partner's face.

"What is it Chuuya ?"

His name had never been said with in such a serious tone by Dazai before, and it made the red hair confused and stuttering :

"W-what are you talking about ? W-what do you want ?"

"Why do you sound scared ? I'm not going to hurt you Chuuya, don't give me that look, please, the last time you had it I didn't even knew you."

His breath stopped abruptly as his eyes widdened. Dazai's amber eyes always had this talent of showing exacly what the man wanted his interlocutor to see in them. Now, Chuuya felt totally soul naked in front of his partner, and got scared of how easy it was for Dazai to read him or understand what was going on in him. He wondered if he was translucid for everyone like this …

"No you're not," said Dazai like if he red his thoughts, "we've known each-other for a long time Chuuya, and we were partners. And even if you only thought it was only that, you perfecly know that partner was far from describing what we were, what we are."

"You're making up your mind," tried Chuuya.

"Do I now ? I mean, you're right, not even Odasaku saw me skin naked of all bandages, saw me litterally fucking lost it and flirting with insanity numerous times, saw me ready to really end my life, all that but to be saved, all these times, saved and asked to hang up to life by none other than you. Chuuya. Don't make that surprise face, of course he prevented me from dying time to time and gave me his speech, but I never listened to him. And he understood it very well, as he told me to keep living to help people. Not just keep living, no, doing it with a purpose. You, indirecly."

Chuuya couldn't help but make the shocked face Dazai didn't wanted him to make because the brown haired was talking about the person that caused is betrayal against the Mafia, against him.

"You decided to understand it like that but-"

"Yes I did. So what ? Was I wrong ? You wanted me to live ? You begged me to do so, and I did. But Chuuya, you have to understand that it's not something I could've done in Port Mafia. Not with Mori's influence and grip on me. On us. I … I couldn't risk this …"

"You were gone for four years- Fuck no I'm not having this conversation with you I don't fucking care I-"

He tried to pass Dazai but the detective caught him by the arm and got him to stand in front of him. Chuuya was trying to supress his watery eyes, but miserably fail as the other kept talking :

"I'm telling you this now because we never had the luck to discuss it since we met a year ago and it has been a year !"

"Why now ? Please Dazai I can't now-"

"That's exacly why, because right know there's something wrong and you keep rejecting me, actually scaring everything that made our relation before like if I was a threat !"

"How am I suppose to fucking see you ! You were gone for four years, you fucking left me you fucking prick, and I had to deal with everything on my own for two years before I was actually promoted and seen as a usefull member without you ! Two years during when Mori was playing my life in poker games with Ellise ! And when I finally found tracks of you, you're a detective in the fucking ADA ?! How do you want me to see you ! Fuck Osamu ..."

Chuuya finally exploded. Dazai had what he wanted. But shit, it felt bad, terrible even. _He_ felt terrible. His decision was a selfish one, but made an altruist gesture. _But well, that depends on the point of view I guess_, he thought as he let go of the red hair, whom just left himself fall on the wall behind him, gloved hand in front of his mouth in shock, eyes closed as tears ran down his cheeks, sobs escaping his lips unvoluntarily.

"I feel that there is more but … let's just deal with that first …"

"I'm n-not dealing w-with anything, f-fuck you."

And Dazai just did the first thing that crossed his mind : hugging Chuuya. It was effective. The crying at stopped. It was too effective. The breathing as stopped too. And the brain. But the heart. It almost hurted how both their heart was beating so fast it could stormed out of their chest. And a crazy, satisfying, confusing feeling, that they felt the other's heart, and knew they were the reason it was acting like this.

"I'm sorry Chuuya. I really am. I don't even want to say it because fuck, I know I don't deserve to, and I certlainy can't express how much I am, and I also know it won't change anythin-"

"Stop talking so much."

Dazai smiled weakly.

"My biggest regret is to see how much of you I broke."

"You didn't break shit about me, I don't need you shitty Dazai."

"What a shame because I do need you."

Chuuya's breath hitched.

"Don't say things like that, you don't fucking know what they weight."

"I do. That's my I mean it. And that's why I want to have your trust back. You trusted me with Corruption, even when we just had met again, so why not trust me now with whatever you're dealing with in our current situation ?"

"Because fuck Dazai, it's a lot more complicated that just this loosing-mind problem and destroying myself."

"What is it then ?"

"You won't let go huh ?"

"Absolutly not Chibi. Even less now that I know you need that and that I was right about you not feeling well."

But Dazai had no idea what was insinde Chuuya's mind since he realised he was in a girl's body. Because this wasn't his, this was being inside a stranger, and it fucking suffocated the Executive to the core.

"You don't have the right to demand that of me."

"I know."

"Yeah you always know everything don't you."

"No."

"Ah ?"

"I don't know if Chibi will really forgive me one day, I don't know how to gain Chibi's trust again, I don't know how to talk to Chibi, actually talk, about me, him, us, and I don't know why Chibi is feeling so bad right know. And that I know because you are trembling in my arms Chuuya."

The red hair didn't know how to answer. This wasn't the right time at all to talk about that, and yet here he was, silently crying on Dazai's shoulder, his arms around him in a firm grip, head full of pain and frustration.

"It's not the right time for all of this Dazai ..." whispered Chuuya.

"I know, I just need to know, talk to me, what's wrong ? What's wrong _right now_ ?"

Chuuya exhaled and stepped away from the tallest, but not too far so he could still be in his arms.

"You seem to live so well the fact that we have women bodies, you even planned on being touched with a full knowledge of the consequences."

"Yes I did. I say it again I didn't want you to be touched too, this was an accident."

"But I don't live well that accident."

"You know it's temporary ?"

"I'm not dumb Dazai !"

Chuuya was ready to hit him if the other would give him a **aren't you ?** look, but surprisly, Dazai's eyes only reflected worry and confusion.

"It just feels so wrong ! Like if I was someone, but in the body of someone else ! I can't see it as mine, even with the hair, size, clothes, it just doesn't fit ! Doesn't work ! I just can't stand to feel and see me like this, can't stand that other people see me like this ! It's just not me ! And I want to be me again but it doesn't want to, it doesn't change back and it makes me feel sick ! Because everyone just have this reaction of surprise and shock and it just increased the whole thing !"

Dazai just put his hands on Chuuya's shoulders to calm his quick breath and chest rising fast as the red hair just realised he was starting to be anxious.

"Hey Chibi, I know what's going on. You're experiencing Gender Dysphoria."

Chuuya was annoyed, amazed and confused. Annoyed because fuck Dazai for knowing everything in the second. Amazed for the same fucking reason. And confused because what the fuck what that ?

"What ? Gender Dysphoria ?"

"Yes. You feel distress because you're not in the good body and it doesn't match your identity. Transgender people usually experience that. I know, I know, you're not transgender, but this guy's ability did the same thing as if."

"That's a horrible feeling."

"Unfortunatly like I said, lots of transgender people experience it, but everyone isn't caring and human, and they go through it the worse way possible. Some people are ununderstanding of transgender, and what they do and say just make it worse for the ones experiencing what you are. For you it's really during a short time, but to some, it takes many years to get rid of that."

"You talking about people not being human is funny. But thank you Dazai. To understand."

The other gave a warm smile.

"Of course. Well I don't really understand what you're going through as I'm not mysef, but I understand why."

"Why aren't you feeling weird about being in a woman's body ?"

The serious interrogation that covered Dazai's face snatched a sincere laugh from Chuuya.

"I, honeslty, do not have any idea. I guess it just doesn't matter because I know it's temporary, even if deep inside, I may have this little fear to stay like this forever. If it had to happen, I might just go through Gender Dysphoria as well."

"I hope you don't", answered the red hair honeslty. "It just really feels like something is missing ..."

"If you're talking about your mans genit-"

"Shut the hell up of course I'm not talking about that !" cut Chuuya as red as his hair was.

"Then what ?"

"I don't know … I still feel my power you know, but just, less. Like if something that usually helped me use it was just gone."

"Arahabaki ?"

Chuuya's eyes opened wid.

"What ? No that's just not possible the thing chose me as a host ! You saw what it did the last time it didn't have a body, that can't be it !"

While Dazai and Chuuya were dealing with the red hair's problems, Atsushi was dealing with his worry. And Akutagawa with Atushi.

"Will you just stop moving around like this. You'll end up in a wall if you don't start walking straight."

"Sorry, it's just that-"

"You're worried, I got it, but you don't have any reasons too Jinko."

"Chuuya-san made explode a whole building ! I'm certain to not know him as well as you do, far from that, but I can tell it wasn't his normal behavior."

"Chuuya-san always explodes things on a daily basis, especially on mission."

"Yes but not a minor one like this, when no one needs to be killed."

Akutagawa couldn't answer the last reply as he knew the detective was right. Chuuya was not in a good mood and as his subordinate, he saw that something was off as well, if not him.

"This situation is a lot to handle, even for him. Dazai is with him so stop worrying."

"OK that just makes me worried even more," laughed Atsushi.

Even Akutagawa made a sound that sounded like a chuckle he tried to hide behind a cough, but the Jinko heard it thanks to his hearing, and he smiled.

"Still. Stop worrying because we're at the Agency and your colleagues are going to make me responsible for that state of yours."

"So what ? Afraid of Kunikida-san ?"

"_If_ someone had to _worry_ me, because I do not fear, it would be Kyouka."

"Kyouka-chan ?"

"She might eat crepe with you but she wants so slice me."

"Not really surprising though."

Akutagawa frowned a little but hummed in agreement. Just before entering the building, Atsushi heard his phone buzzed and hold Akutagawa by the sleeve. The black hair man turned to him and got confused when he saw the Jinko's face with a shocked expression.

"What is it ?"

Atsushi just turned his screen at him and Akutagawa saw a message from Kunikida :

**If Nakahara-san has his ability operational it means that Dazai has it to ! He can just supress the ability of the kid ! Oh and you should come back, there is a kid here saying he's the one you're looking for. **

Akutagawa was also stunned. How stupid were they to not think of it sooner ? How stupid was DAZAI to not think of it sooner ?!

Except if the man was doing that on purpose. But it seemed Chuuya was hurted by this abilty, and as stupid and annoying Dazai could be, he wouldn't do that to Chuuya. Something was wrong.

"Where are they ?" asked Akutagawa.

"Don't know- wait ! Dazai-san just texted me they'll be here in less than 5 minutes ! Wait how is that even possible ? Chuuya-san couldn't have his motorcylcle sent to him in such a short time !"

"He manipulates gravity. He might just be flying through the city right know."

"With Dazai-san ? What about his ability ?"

"I don't know, it's weird. Let's just get up here."

Atsushi nodded and they joined the rest of the detectives. As soon as they entered the room, they started to talk about why Dazai didn't use his ability on them, and started to paranoid.

Hopefully all their questions were gonna be answered with the arrival of Chuuya and Dazai, and even if they noticed the reddish and tired eyes of the first one, they knew better than comment about it and lose a limb or two. And they felt Dazai could be the one cutting them with how his aura glowed of protection around the mafiaso's body.

"So ? Where's the kid ?" asked Chuuya.

"The nursery," answered Ranpo.

"The nursery ?!"

"Yeah, apparently he was touched by pieces of building falling to the ground. I wonder how it happened," smirked Yosano.

"None of your buisness. Come Dazai let's see the little shit."

"Hey ! You're in the Agency's territory so all of your violent methods are prohibited ! Clear ?" scolded Kunikida.

"I just want to have my fucking body back, get off my dick."

Dazai bursted out in laugh when Kunikida just made the most offended face he has ever seen, and he wasn't the only one. Atsushi was as embarrassed as he was amused and Akutagawa just rolled his eyes, a light smile on his face.

"Let him be Kunikida-san," smiled Tanizaki. "Dazai-san is with him anyway so he won't hurt the kid."

"That's actually what I'm worried about," growled the blond.

"I said I wouldn't kill him, never said anything about hurting him."

"He's joking !" tried to catch up Dazai when the detectives narrowed their eyes.

"I'm really not."

"Chibi you are not helping me here !"

"Wait ! Before any of you just do whatever, we need to ask you something Dazai," holded back Yosano.

Dazai's eyes opened in surprised and curiousity.

"Yes ?"

"What didn't you use your abilty to change you and Nakahara-san back ?" asked Kunikda blankly.

Except Akutagawa and Atsushi, all were looking at him with serious faces, and concern, but not about him, but about why he woudn't have done what they were accusing him of not doing. He didn't even knew we could reproch him something he didn't do.

"Chuuya-san seems to have his full ability, even in this form. So you must have it as well. Why not use it ?"

Chuuya's brain was trying to proceed the informations. Dazai couldn't possibly have his ability this whole time without any of them thinking about it ! Dazai couldn't have forget ! He never forgets things like that ! And certainly not after seeing how bad he felt in his body. He saw Dazai's body tensed as he face turned emotionless. Shit. He could say that Dazai changed in lots of things, but his way of defense when psycologicly attacked remained the same : acting cold, detached from everything, and he would bet his hat that his partner's words were going to be bitter and poisoned when he'll talk.

Atsushi was worried. He didn't like the accusation on Dazai. Akutagawa didn't either, and Jinko had his mind on the mafioso for a few seconds, holding him tight by the wrist to prevent him from using Rashomon. Those mafiasos were all so impulsive it was getting ridiculous.

Chuuya was right. Dazai's word made fell everyone guilty when he spoke them :

"Are you taking me for an idiot ? Do you think I'm that stupid, to forget about my own ability ? After the pain it was for us to walk in the streets like that, to be in those bodies we never asked for and feel terrible in, do you think I didn't try to change us back, to change Chuuya back ? What am I, a monster ?"

All were frozen, but for different reasons.

Chuuya because he knew Dazai was including himself in all the feeling the red hair described to him earlier so he wouldn't feel ashamed and alone, and the others because of their guilt. Ranpo wasn't saying anything. He wasn't of the one to accuse Dazai. He was just eating, sitting on the desk, like always.

Dazai looked at him.

"Why didn't you say anything ?"

"What for ?"

"But, why can't you use your ability when Chuuya-san can ?" asked shily Atsushi.

"Because it's too powerfull."

Chuuya's answer cut the silence and caught the attention on him. He noticed Dazai's shoulder relaxed and a little smile taking place on his lips, eyes still covered by his bangs.

"Dazai's power is too powerfull, so when his body changed, it couldn't keep up with so many things and his ability was locked away. Same thing happened for me, except it was a much 'smaller' part. I told Dazai that even with The Tainted Sorrow, I still felt like if something was missing."

"And I told him it was just probably what he used to have between his legs !" woke up Dazai, hiding his discomfort behind a stupid sentence and smile.

"You fucking moron I said no ! Don't confond Arahabaki with that !" said Chuuya as he hit the other man on the head.

"Dazai there are children here !" scolded Yosano as she covered, too late, Kyouka's ears.

"Just Kyouka actually," laughed Naomi.

"No, Jinko too."

"Ryunnosuke !"

"I thought you were going for Ryu ?"

"Not when I will be mad at you !"

"Very well, _Atsushi_."

"Fuck you."

Gasped filled the room as everyone, including Chuuya, started in shock as Atsushi who was know trying to make himself as small as possible.

"The sunshine of the Agency just swore !" exclaimed Naomi.

"I thought Kenji was the sunshine," said Ranpo.

"Akutagawa-kun, your presence with Atsushi-kun is tainting him !" scolded Dazai amused.

"Like fuck ! It's your fault mackerel ! You're his mentor !" yelled Chuuya.

"So ?!"

"Chuuya-san's right, I'm not responsible for his language. You teached me how to swear, not suprised if you teached him too," informed Akutagawa.

"Did _not_ !"

"Did _so_ !"

"Atsushi-kun don't betray me !"

"On a scale of Dazai to Chuuya, how loyal are you ?" rapped out Yosano.

Another burst of laughs as Dazai was looking at the doctor in purely betrayal and true shock.

"Did you just used me as a measurement for being a traitor ?"

Chuuya couldn't, and honestly didn't want to, hold his laugh, and he had a hard time trying to answer :

"Oh yeah ah ah, she just fucking did you zero !"

"I shouldn't be laughing," tried to convince himself Atsushi.

"Fuck this even I am laughing," chocked Akuyagawa on his own saliva.

"Just what exacly is happening here ?"

Even Fukuzawa's entrance didn't calm the slightest the detectives and mafiosos, and the director's eyebrows rised up a little at the sight of Chuuya almost rolling on the floor, Atsushi half dead on Akutagawa's shoulder who wasn't doing much better, Yosano and Ranpo holding to each other, the Tanizaki siblings and Kenji laid down on their desk, Kyouka and Kunikida smiling but not laughing and Dazai standing in the middle of the room, spited.

He wasn't surprised by the feminine appearance of Soukoku as he was explained the situation by Ranpo.

"Can I know what's happening here please ? The ones who aren't dying because of their lack of air."

Dazai just pouted and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Yosano-sensei just used me as a measurement for being a traitor."

Fukuzawa didn't laugh. Dazai felt a little better. A weird noise escaped from the director and he turned around quickly, bitting hard on his inner cheeks to not laugh. Not laugh. But hell if he didn't hear something like that for a long time.

"Where are you going ?" asked Dazai.

"To Mori-sensei, we have matter to discuss," Fukuzawa managed to answer despite his restricted laugh.

"Yeah sure and I'm the matter of course," mumbled the bandaged man.

Everyone calmed down rather fast, hopefully, and they could go back to what they were suppose to do in the first place.

"Come on zero, let's talk to that little guy and get our bodies back."

"Call me that once more and I burn your hat, slug !"

"I dare you !"

"Just go already !" pushed Atsushi.

The two partners enterd the nursery and saw a terrified, confused, tired and rather looking dead kid, sitting on the middle bed, arm bandaged and a sticking on his cheek and forhead.

"Well, what do we have here," smirked Chuuya.

"You decided to come back. Why ?" asked Dazai suspicious.

"B-because you were chasing me ! I got scared ! I thought I could handle you but then I learned who you were and- fuck ! You should have started by telling me you were the Agency's Dazai Osamu and the one of the five Mafia's Executive's Nakahara Chuuya !"

"Dazai will do for you."

"Don't call me at all. Shift us back."

"I can't."

There was a pause. Then blinks. Then Chuuya lost it, red glowing around him and objects started to just float in the room.

"Ah ? What do you mean you can't ?! You think I care ? You do it or I'll kill you."

"I-I can't, I assure you ! I don't know how to ! I don't control it well !"

"So you just leave all those poor people out there in body's that aren't even theirs ?!"

"No ! I get news of them, on myself, I just try to find them and see if the effects are gone and it seems that it takes a day approximately."

"A fucking day in that damn body ?! Are you kidding my ass ?!"

"I wish, believe me !"

"Chuuya calm down !"

"I can't calm down ! A day ! A whole day ! Dazai it haven't been three hours yet and I feel like ripping my own sking off and cutting everything that is unfamiliar !"

"Chibbi please."

Dazai took Chuuya buy the arm and led him out of the nursery and in the corridor outside the Agency. The red hair was breathing real fast and with complications, and before Chuuya's brain could even think of giving him an anxiety attack, Dazai gave him a heart attack by kissing him suddenly.

The detective did it for two reasons : the first one was because he hoped he could catch the mafioso's attention away from his body problems, the second one, just because he wanted too.

And well even if he expected Chuuya to punch him, it still hurted. But the pain was all forgotten when the little man grabbed him by his collar to violently smash his lips on his again, kissing him roughly and messy, like they both wanted it for such a long time.

They didn't even heard the door open but they did heard a squeak followed by the sound of someone bumping violently into another person.

The door closed and they broke the kiss, a need of air required.

"Did you hear something ?"

"Nope nothing, just the sound of your heart Chibbi~"

"Stop it mackerel ! Why did you even do that !"

Realization hit Chuuya and all he could think about was the reason why this stupid Dazai decided to kiss him so suddenly. Eyes strated to water and Dazai had to hold to mafioso tight against him so he wouldn't run away.

"Stop it Chuuya."

Hearing his name was always effective on Chuuya.

"I didn't kiss you just to make you feel better, even if it was one of my goal. I also did it because I wanted to."

"Why ?" breathed the red hair.

"Don't make me say those words yet Chibbiko !"

"Dazai ! If this is you making fun of me I swear I will kill you and then myself-"

"I love Chuuya. That's why I kissed him."

Eyes and mouth widdened and Chuuya wouldn't have believed it if he wasn't staring at an embarrast and pinkish Dazai. Amber eyes were looking straight at his saphirs but he knew that they wanted to look at anything but him. He even knew that the moment he could, Dazai would lower his head and hid his embarrasment in his bangs.

He knew Dazai so well it scared him. And Dazai knew him so well as well he was sure they were both terrified at this point. Especially when Dazai's head inclined before Chuuya's hand reached his cheek.

"I love you too Osamu."

The name was spoken so gently no one could believe it was from a Mafia Executive. Then, it hit Chuuya and Dazai that it was spoken with a familiar, deep, man voice. Both their eyes widdened and they looked down on Chuuya to see that the man was actualy a man, back in his body, without any weird thing in his shirts, and something in his pants. Hair back to normal size, as for the eye-lashes, and a sudden wave of gravity resonated in him, a sign of Arahabaki's presence.

Dazai felt the same thing, a light blue light surrouding him and glowing in his eyes before he felt his shapes and breathed out, reliefed.

"I don't understand how it happened, but I'm not letting that kid near me again," laughed Chuuya.

Dazai giggled and they both went back in this office where they were welcomed with shocked and surprised exclamations.

"Your back !" yelled Naomi.

"Mister Fancy Hat, you're better as a Mister than as a Miss !" noticed Ranpo.

"Glad to see you won't tear Yokohama apart to get back in your bodies," scolded Kunikida.

Atsushi and Akutagawa were weirdly silent, even when their senseis came to them. Actually they couldn't even look at them in the eyes.

"Everything OK Atsushi-kun ? You look as red as Kyouka-chan's dress !" joked Dazai.

The weretiger mumbled something incomprehensible and Akutagawa coughed.

"We wanted to check on you but when we opened the door you were- … well."

"Ooooooh don't be embarrassed like that Akutagawa ! It's only a natural cycle of life ! Right Chuuya ?"

"Shut up you stupid bandaged waste !"

Chuuya was as red as his hair and crossed arms. Dazai put his arms around his waist and rest his chin on the other one's shoulder.

"Don't be like that Chibiko."

"Hey I have a question ! How did you turned back ?" asked Kenji.

Both shrugged.

"I think I have an explanation," stepped in Yosano. "I spoke with the kid, he really doesn't know how to use and control his ability. But every ability is directly led by emotions. You seem to have experienced a sudden and brutal emotional state, and the ability was nullified that way."

"That would explain a lot, but how did Ranpo-san didn't find this ?"

"Oh but I did."

"What ?!" yelled Chuuya.

"Ranpo-san ! Why did you left us in this situation !"

"None of you asked me if I knew how to deal with it."

Silence filled the room and everyone let out a tired sigh.

"Well at leat know it's over. I suppose you won't need me anymore so I'll go back to Port Mafia and filled the documents for you Chuuya-san."

Akutagawa was about to leave and Atsushi couldn't help but feel sad, and frustrated to not find any reason to hold back the Diablo. Of course, it didn't go unnoticed by Dazai who grabbed a paper on his desk and shoved in Atsuski's arm.

"Not so fast Akutagawa ! I have a mission for you and Atsuki-kun !"

"Now ?!" asked Atsushi.

"Of course now !"

"It's almost night !"

"Your point ? If you're scared of the dark just hold Akutagawa's hand, he's not !"

"Absolutly not !" yelled both men.

They coudln't protest anymore as Dazai closed the door at their faces and smirked at Chuuya.

"You are unbelievable," laughed the mafioso.

"And yet here I am !"

"What did you even send them to do ?"

"Nothing, just taking care of an ability user that can transform people in animals, but Atsushi is already a tiger so he reasks nothing."

"What about my subbordinate ?"

"Akutagawa attacks in distance. He's safe too."

Dazai and Chuuya left the ADA and of course, the poor kid that turned them decided that moving out of Yokohama could be the best idea he ever had after what happened to him.

As for the mission of Shin Soukoku, well … it didn't go as well as Dazai planned it.

Yes I know it was suppose to be a One-Shot and it is, but they will be an independant second part to this, with Shin Soukoku this time and with appearance problems as well but I'm not saying more !


End file.
